Just when I thought it would be a flat day on the thinking front (this happens to us all, yes?), something I have read elswewhere has made me think, quite a bit.
The title says it all, albeit a bit presumptively, since I haven’t yet converted. But it’s relevant and no doubt I will come back to it – again and again!
The thing is, I am planning on becoming a member of my local progressive synagogue, which is part of the Liberal Judaism movement here in the UK. There are several reasons why I am choosing this route, not least because of the equal status it provides for men and women, the choice of English and Hebrew for services, acceptance of all men and women irrespective of sexuality etc. However, you can see already that I have been reading Chabad.org (they’re on my list of links over there —->). I have been receiving their emails on the Parshah, reading a whole range of information from other denominations that are not Liberal and essentially combining all my reading material into some sort of inter-denominational soup.
Is this wrong? Is this right? Am I getting myself into a tizz about nothing? I have a sense that if I didn’t have to work for a living, could attend every single service under the sun, I would be more observant. But then I still would not be accepted by other denominations. I’m not prepared to go to a synagogue where I would have to sit behind a mechitzah and deny what I believe to be my full place in Jewish society. So, will I cause ructions if I turn out to be one of the more observant Jews in my congregation, or will they shrug their shoulders and say ‘No problem, we welcome all sorts?’
My common sense says ‘Hey, stop worrying!’ but my emotions are spinning in circles. What do you out there think?
Posted by Chavi on August 26, 2008 at 11:50 pm
I loathed the mechitzah for the longest time, and then, when I actually went to an Orthodox shul for the first time … I understood it. It actually helps me in prayer. I know it sounds weird, but when I used to go and my then-boyfriend would come along, he was a distraction right there next to me. The mechitzah can be a pretty beautiful thing when it’s looked at not as a restriction, but as an aid in prayer.
Just my two cents
Posted by rachel on August 27, 2008 at 10:44 am
You have a point, Chavi
However, I haven’t found anyone to be distraction as yet (maybe I’m wilful and stubborn!), although i suppose, once I am over the newness of it all and am getting comfortable with my role in the synagogue, can respond in Hebrew in all the right places, maybe then it will make a difference. Maybe then I’ll just have to put my tallit over my head to shut everyone out!
Posted by jewwishes on August 28, 2008 at 8:24 pm
Not to worry, seriously. If a Jew judges you, it goes against the grain. There is only One who is the judge on our spirituality.
You have to follow your spiritual heart, and what you feel is best for you, not just a convenience, but what is best, in the long run.
I have visited Conservative, Orthodox, progressive and other synagogue prayer services.
I am most comfortable with where I’m at in the world of Judaism.
Posted by rachel on August 29, 2008 at 11:08 am
Lori – that’s very true, about following your spiritual heart.
This journey is really making me think about so many things, in a different way. I don’t really believe that I am going to be censured for doing some things more observantly than others (and maybe other things less observantly!). I just must be thinking about everything a lot, right at the moment!
Posted by Leah on September 2, 2008 at 3:09 am
kind of off topic, I know a woman who is doing a progressive conversion in London. Small world. She doesn’t blog, tho.
Good luck on the path, it’s a fun one! This is my fourth set of High Holy Days, I think… still counting them.
Posted by mTp on October 15, 2008 at 2:07 am
Rachel I love reading about your explorations. They are not easy and they will not get easier. This is the wrestle. How do you as a convert balance the secular world of England with the holy one laid out in Judaism? I wrestle all the time. It has been 14 years and I wrestle more now. Here is a post you may like: http://michaeltpullen.wordpress.com/2008/06/05/what-makes-you-jewish-and-how-do-others-know/