Wishing everyone an easy fast today, if you are fasting.
Apart from the reasons for the fast (according to the Mishnah (Taanit 4:6) five calamities befell the Jewish people on this day)
- Moses broke the two tablets of stone on Mount Sinai;
- The daily tamid offering ceased to be brought;
- The walls of Jerusalem were breached (proceeding to the destruction of the Temple);
- Prior to Bar Kokhba’s revolt, Roman military leader Apostomus burned a Torah scroll;
- An idol was erected in the Temple.
This day resonates for me as it marks the beginning of the period of the 3 weeks leading up to Tishah B’Av, which was the first non-Shabbat serivce I attended at shul. I remember so clearly turning up at the door, ringing the bell to be let in and being ushered into the hall next to our sanctuary. We sat in a circle and followed a service specially written by our rabbi. At that time I knew an extremely limited amount of Hebrew, very few of the people attending and felt like a fish out of water. Needless to say, the solemnity of the occasion wasn’t lost on me, but I didn’t really feel that it was anything to do with me – I felt like an imposter to be honest, intruding on a very private occasion. This wasn’t down to anything anyone said or didn’t say, it was more due to my internalisnig and analysing my status as a new person to the congregation. I do that a lot.
Thankfully, I don’t feel like that any more. So yes, this is certainly a solemn time, but a tiny part of me marks this point in the calendar as a slightly different kind of anniversary.
I can see why you felt you were intruding if you had never attended such a service before, all the more so since you didn’t know many people.
Comment by ilanadavita — July 9, 2009 @ 9:36 am
I was encouraged to attend though – and introduced to everybody. This year will be different, thankfully.
Comment by rachel — July 9, 2009 @ 10:07 am
Thanks for a reminder of why fast.
I could see how someone could feel that way at a Tisha B’Av service. The closest I can identify would be Sephardic services on Rosh Hashana after growing up in an Ashkenazi shul.
The one time we attended a bar-mitzvah with mixed seating, I think my sons felt like fish out of water. The idea of women being called up to the Torah to read was very foreign to them.
Comment by Leora — July 10, 2009 @ 12:22 am
Hi Leora – thank you for your thoughts!
Yes, i see exactly what you mean about Sephardi / Ashkenazi. I have a friend who was brought up in an Ashkenazi environment and he is constantly having to remind himself how to pronounce his Hebrew differently. I keep on telling him that he shouldn’t have to do that, but he doesn’t want to be different! I’m sure there are many other things he finds different about the service, but he keeps quiet about it. I can certainly see why your sons felt out of place too – I’ve not yet been to a service or other event where seating has been separate, so I’m sure if that ever happens, it will feel odd to me.
Comment by rachel — July 10, 2009 @ 7:58 am